imagine one day spidey is held up by the new york city police department, and he’s expecting the same old bullshit of “this stupid spider menace vigilante blah blah blah” like the cops in queens always say to him, but instead he’s met with a 30 year old brooklyn cop who is less concerned with peter being a vigilante, and is more concerned with peter’s powers. he won’t stop asking peter about his spider powers, how they work, how he got them, how he would rate them on a scale of “cool” to “toit”
and finally peter gets a word in edgewise and is like “not that this isn’t refreshing compared to the way the police usually treat me, but what kinda cop are you again??” and the cop is like “i’m actually a detective, jake peralta from the 99th precinct. anyways can you summon an army of spiders or is that just a rumor?? oh my god can you talk to them, can you ask the spiders if they like die hard??”
someone: talks to me in a way that seems the teeniest bit off, hardly noticeably different than their norm
me: lies down in the shower sadly, wondering where i went wrong in this friendship
